


i just want you, not the galaxy

by Hiirah



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Friendship, Love, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 12:58:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5968141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiirah/pseuds/Hiirah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I looked in the papers and you were all I saw.</p><p>I browsed the internet and you were all the media was talking about.</p><p>I found your name in my contacts but you never answered.</p><p>Won't you tell me what's wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	i just want you, not the galaxy

 

> _I looked in the papers and you're all I saw._
> 
> _I browsed the internet and you're all the media was talking about._
> 
> _I found your name in my contacts but you never answered._
> 
> _Won't you tell me what's wrong?_
> 
>  

 

Tao looks out the window - the window that opens to the world outside. The rain poured heavily outside accompanied by thunders and lightning. He thinks it's ironic how the news reporter said it won't rain today but yet he looks through the window and he can't see a single ray of light. He thinks it's weird that after years of experience the reporter could still get the facts wrong, and the whole nation believed it. He thinks humans are always wrong because lies after lies are being told but yet the people still believe them and force them into truth. Just like what his been doing lately. Telling the fans that everything's okay, forcing them to believe that they're fine, that he's doing well and yet he feels like he's been stampede with thousands of knives. He thinks the truth - the real truth, honest and raw - is better than the sweet lies. 

 

Because he wants the truth more than ever right now. The lies are killing him and it's taking every bit of sanity left in him.

 

Tao leans his head against the cool paned glass window and thinks about everything that has to do with  _him_. The man said to have come from the galaxy.

 

Tao remembered the day he was taught math wrong, when duizhang said that 6 + 6 = 1 and Tao believed him. He said that they will always be together as one and Tao trusted him. He told Tao to lay his head on his shoulder whenever he's exhausted and Tao never lean against anybody else but him. But he left them, left him, alone and now Tao can't seem to find any ray of hope coming from himself or from hope itself. He thinks everything that's happening right now is ridiculous. Every day since that unfortunate day he's been burying himself with practices and rehearsals so that he'll fall asleep from exhaustion without dreaming about a certain beautiful man from the galaxy. He's scared and he knows it, but he can't do anything because the person who never fails  in comforting him is nowhere near his reach eventhough the said man is just a phone call away. He can't stand to hear the ringing of the line which never seems to end and he is forced to end the call.

 

He hurts to think that only memories are left after years of being together training for their perfect day. It's sad to see the members forced to say things about the issue without having a chance to say what's on their mind. He watches Junmyeon cries ugly tears at night, the pain clawing at his heart trying to release itself free, but the leader refrains it and everyday he wakes up holding on to hope. He watches the two maknaes pretending that everything is alright each passing day and pretending that they're going to get better. Tao watches them dance their pain off, watches how every move seems to be agitated and filled with anger. But the truth is, they won't get better. Not in the long run they won't - anything could happen within the years - and this news have left them wounded and their hearts covered with scars and pains that won't be able to heal with time. Even an infinite amount of time won't help stitch back the scars that's too wide open.

 

They know they won't be able to move on from this huge pain that's been burdening their hearts. Tao sees the oldest two trying to put on a strong facade in front of the staffs but behind closed doors the facade is removed and they're just Minseok and Luhan. Two normal boys who lost their friend along the way in reaching for their dream together. He watches Jongdae and Baekhyun trying to lift everyone's spirits up by making silly jokes but he could see the sadness within their eyes and the pain behind their black orbs. He looks at Yixing who seems to have gotten more depressed, always staring at nothing with dark eyes and Chanyeol has become more quiet with each passing day while strumming the guitar to a sad song. And recently Tao realized that Kyungsoo has cooked nothing but Kris's favorite dishes ever since the painful truth broke out. He thinks the ninth member isn't aware of what he's cooking but Tao sees it, the inflicted pain in every member's eyes every time dinner is ready and they see the dishes laid out on the table. 

 

What happened really? Nobody knows, and nobody would tell him anything. Tao stares at his phone and aches seeing the number that hasn't been answering his calls. He wants the truth, and he wants nothing more than the words coming out from  _his_  mouth. He must have had his reasons, but won't he share anything with him? Tao recalls a memory of one night - a night where they just received their first award - while the rest were sleeping and he was still awake with  _him_  talking about their dreams together. They were lying in the living room with the clock showing 2.00 am, their backs hard against the wooden floor, gazing at the open window just counting the stars together. Tao vividly remembers the words that were clearly said that night:-

 

_"If you're not passionate about something, why stay?"_

 

(The words are painfully imprinted in his head and at the back of his mind, and every day he wakes up and he sees the words on the bedroom walls and he's 50% sure that's he's close to losing his sanity.)

 

True to his words, he left. And now Tao feels so broken and alone and he feels the words ringing in his hear because wasn't he himself a reason enough for  _him_  to stay longer with them? Only then did he allow himself to cry, singing a sad song with the rains and thunders outside accompanied by the cries of their fans, in hopes that the man who left him would hear it and come back home. Tao remembers that one chinese interview asking him if he can choose someone to walk with him by the beach who will he choose? And if wishes do come true, right now he wants more than anything in the world to be able to walk beside his galaxy hyung again because together they are one and that is a fact that's as bright as the stars in the galaxy. 


End file.
